Non-Jews are for practice
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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