im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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