Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
People in love make me want to vomit
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
