..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
