I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
