i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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