I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you remember whose house we're in?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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