Your face is a jimmy john
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
