Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
