the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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