I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
