so that wasnt chicken after all
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
