wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
