margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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