I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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