I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We're too hungover to prance.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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