Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
high people should be assigned attendants
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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