Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
