For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
