all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
this hospital has no fireball
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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