I want to stick my p in your. b.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize