i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
