We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
