is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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