at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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