I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
