whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
