you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
