Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
