matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
