I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
