i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
