I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
