Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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