I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
