i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
