So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize