The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize