we're chasing vodka with high fives
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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