so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
