Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
