I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
