Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
