Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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