That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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