even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
