so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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