THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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