She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
