What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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