sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize