you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
