i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
