I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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