I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm at about main and main street
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
