Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
