Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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