Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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