i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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