so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
