i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
