I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
