my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize