Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
