Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
