p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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