So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
